This may look like the most tacky, trashy shit you’ve ever seen, but what you are looking at is actually the most expensive platform bed ever commissioned, at least since the days of kings and artisans. On the outside, simple cardboard; brown, dry, mundane. However, inside these deceptively ordinary boxes wait 1920 copies of my self-published novel, the novel that I stupidly dropped a substantial sum of money on without first warning myself that no one reads and self-publishing sucks. But alas, the books have already been made, and I am already in debt, lassies. Not just a little “oops I splurged on a night out with Britney” debt. I am talking real debt, and most of said debt is due entirely to creative endeavors that have failed to do anything besides lose money. Lots and lots of money.

So, for my next failed endeavor, I am giving you the opportunity to take part in the coolest new online game. You think you’ve seen them all, the puzzle games, the pervy porn games, the point and click games, the role-playing games. You’ve seen nothing yet.

Welcome to Dismantle My Bed!, the online amusement that plays like a giant game of Jenga, and is so exciting it can only be punctuated by the exclamation point.

Want to play the game? To see how it works and what you can win, go to HOW IT WORKS

Or go ahead and buy your copy and try to dismantle my bed! PLAY NOW