Dismantle My Bed

And let that resolution be to buy my book.

Seriously. Help out a starving writer for the new year. Okay, so maybe I am not exactly starving. But that is only because I have a real job. But if I was trying to live off of the money from my writing I would indeed be starving.

Instead, I am an office worker poser by day. And a writer by, er, the rest of the time. Actually, I write at work too…

But I’m not supposed to be doing that…

When I was in Nashville, I tried to sell some books. I know. Who’d a thunk it? But it’s true.

While trying to sell said books, I took a cool little 8 ½ x 11 sign with me titled Cinderella’s To Do List. On that list, it had a few things written and then those things crossed out with new ‘to dos’ written in. The final written-in ‘to do’ on the list was “Defeat my maker”.

As a marketing tool, I thought it was tremendously clever. I forgot I was in the south.

The people who saw that sign often sniffed snootily and walked off.

One woman actually said the “Defeat my maker? I don’t know about that” line.

Could God stop corrupting everything? Seriously.

Here it is, late December, time for the end of the year wrap up.

This site has now been around for like six months, with frequent updates for the past three or so. Now let’s tally books sold to date. Hold on while I get out my calculator… and another moment while I do some counting.

Okay… I have sold exactly… one more second… ZERO.

I have sold ZERO books.

So, if you are reading this site, wondering if a clever gimmick and a blog full of witty wordplay can help sell your book, the answer is…. probably.

If you do this exact same thing, your book will probably sell. My book, however, is back on its route to Remainder Town.

Since it’s clear that I’m not going to be able to sell my own books, maybe I can sell other people’s. You know, people’s whose books can be found on the shelves at Borders or Barnes & Noble, or even better, on the clearance rack, or at a half-price store. What about books that can be found at Wal-Mart? Those are always a good read. And, of course, you know that you’ve stumbled upon a real gem when it is mass produced and sold for $3.99 at a grocery store checkout.

Okay, so now I am just being a whiny, jealous bitch. Oh well. There are worse things. Like, for instance, pretending that The Da Vinci Code is well-written.

I know it may seem as such, but I am really not a hater of all things published by multi-million dollar publishing houses. Just most of them.

There are several books published by the upper echelon, though, of which I am quite fond.

These shall be explored in this here section of Books I Love.

You know what is a popular gift? Money! So, I bet you got some money for Christmas, right?

If so, what are you doing with it, stingy? Spread the love and support a struggling writer!

Besides, the book has a new low price. But you can feel free to pay more for it. No, seriously. Send me your money. Then I will send you a book. The end.