Dismantle My Bed

There are a few exceptions. Very rarely, a movie will be made based on a book that is actually better than the book itself. Very, very rarely. Once in a while, it’s even a TV show based on a book that is better than the original. Again, rare.

Most of the time, moving images based on novels are shlockfests of the highest caliber. Why?

I think it comes down to two major opposing issues.

1. The movie is a direct translation of the book from page to screen.

The dialogue is the same. The scenes are exactly the same and occur in the exact same order.

Now, this sounds like a wonderful thing. The problem is thus -

Movies aren’t novels and novels aren’t movies. You can write a twenty page stare-off into a novel and keep it interesting. Try putting a twenty minute stare-off into a movie and see how many people are still in the theater when the contest ends.

2. The movie completely disregards the book.

The plot is barely intact. The characters barely behave like themselves. All of that funny dialogue that provided you such a hearty belly laugh while reading has been rewritten. It’s lost its essence.

And it doesn’t have to happen like this! Because while a movie is not a novel and a novel is not a movie, a great scene with great dialogue is just as effective in both. If it worked in the novel, a complete overhaul is rarely necessary. Sometimes its just someone taking too many liberties with a story that doesn’t belong to them. Tragic.

With the exception of a select few adapted screenplays, I find that you are better off seeing movies based on a book you haven’t read and skipping movies adapted from books you loved.

It’s just safer that way.

Oddly enough, this could also be categorized under ‘books i didn’t love’. You see, I loved some. I severely disliked some.

It went like this -

The Magician’s Nephew - Loved it

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - Loved it, though interestingly enough, not as much as The Magician’s Nephew

The Horse and His Boy - I slept through half of this book

Prince Caspian - Okay, now we’re back on track

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - Rocked my world! It did. Several times.

The Silver Chair - Eh, it was transitional maybe?

The Last Battle - This is really what it was transitioning to?

Over all, a series worth reading for sure, but few of the individual books are worth reading more than once. A hard look at the spines tells me that The Magician’s Nephew and Prince Caspian have received the most love, though Voyage of the Dawn Treader is by far my favorite.

Weird.

Ever wonder about books that are translated into other languages? Ever wonder who is the most translated?

I think I would chose JK Rowling to add to my list of guesses. And then maybe Shakespeare. But after that I am at a loss. If you have wondered this, then check out the world’s most translated authors. You just might be surprised by who is and who is not on the list.

So, the crazy ideas are not limited. In fact, there have been several. The mystery box was just one of many. How about flea markets. People like to buy random stuff at those. So why not unload some books there.

Self publishing can be a bit of an issue. You can end up with a lot of boxes of books in your home. And I do mean a LOT! So, that’s when you start having crazy ideas. You know, to move the merchandise. And maybe even make a little cash. One idea - sell a mystery box on eBay. Fill it with several copies of the book and nothing else so you can ship it media mail. Good money if you can find any suckers.