Dismantle My Bed

Okay, I get that online rhyming dictionaries use software, and software, in general, isn’t great with nuance. For instance, I know that, if you have desire enough, you can rhyme the words fair and slayer. Rhyming dictionaries, however, don’t seem to understand this concept. Which is fine. It’s not like I want to be dependent on the rhyming dictionary. I am very content to seek my own rhyme, thank you. But I do wish there were at least one out there that included, say, extremely well-known proper nouns. Is there any rhyming dictionary online that’s worth bookmarking?

So, inspired by the person who attempted to pay off their credit card debt with a spider drawing, I am trying to turn what has started as a professional exchange into an email row for that sake of my own personal enjoyment. Google has snagged Bleeding Through Kingdoms: Cinderella’s Rebellion, and as with many other author’s work, tried to make it a public domain work before its time. As has become customary in this country, copyright infringement only really applies to we, the laypeople. Large corporations can do whatever they want to do it seems. I asked them politely to remove my book from their system. They, in turn, told me that my publisher submitted the book. This is entertaining, since I am the publisher. So then I got snarky. Really hoping that hilarity ensues.

Working sucks in general. Being a creative type that has to work a real job though…

Well, that is a special kind of suck. Working a real job during the day and writing at home at night actually blows. Like seriously. We are talking hardcore suckage here.

That is all. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

There are a few exceptions. Very rarely, a movie will be made based on a book that is actually better than the book itself. Very, very rarely. Once in a while, it’s even a TV show based on a book that is better than the original. Again, rare.

Most of the time, moving images based on novels are shlockfests of the highest caliber. Why?

I think it comes down to two major opposing issues.

1. The movie is a direct translation of the book from page to screen.

The dialogue is the same. The scenes are exactly the same and occur in the exact same order.

Now, this sounds like a wonderful thing. The problem is thus -

Movies aren’t novels and novels aren’t movies. You can write a twenty page stare-off into a novel and keep it interesting. Try putting a twenty minute stare-off into a movie and see how many people are still in the theater when the contest ends.

2. The movie completely disregards the book.

The plot is barely intact. The characters barely behave like themselves. All of that funny dialogue that provided you such a hearty belly laugh while reading has been rewritten. It’s lost its essence.

And it doesn’t have to happen like this! Because while a movie is not a novel and a novel is not a movie, a great scene with great dialogue is just as effective in both. If it worked in the novel, a complete overhaul is rarely necessary. Sometimes its just someone taking too many liberties with a story that doesn’t belong to them. Tragic.

With the exception of a select few adapted screenplays, I find that you are better off seeing movies based on a book you haven’t read and skipping movies adapted from books you loved.

It’s just safer that way.

So, the crazy ideas are not limited. In fact, there have been several. The mystery box was just one of many. How about flea markets. People like to buy random stuff at those. So why not unload some books there.