Dismantle My Bed

I know I’ve already mentioned the fact that I am now sleeping on top of the book boxes. I have not, however, mentioned that there were enough remaining boxes to make some additional furniture pieces.

A few boxes are sitting beneath some cubes which are housing my clothes. A few boxes have been formed into a hideous, yet functional microwave stand. Two boxes on either side of the bed make instantly tacky bedside tables.

I may not be able to sell my novels, but I am saving a fortune on furniture.

So, it’s almost time for us to finally move out of this pit of an apartment. This was supposed to be the moment when I carried the books off in a black pickup, blaring “May the Circle be Unbroken” from the sound system. While I was looking forward to this moment, in a sick, artistic kind of way, it may not be coming quite yet. Instead, the book boxes may be coming with me.

While I do not want to move these boxes again by any means, we’ve found something surprising about them. They make a damn comfortable platform bed. The platform bed that we actually have in the bedroom is not nearly as comfortable, or as sturdy, as the book boxes.

Ah, they get a year reprieve… but the fire gods are angry.

I find it so amusing that there are mattress ads all along my sidebar. And, of course, I always enjoy the deluge of porn spam. There is just nothing about the word bed that isn’t inviting. I know that I spend a lot of every work day wishing I could go visit my own bed, so I definitely understand why people are drawn to it.

It’s just an entertaining concept that there are no ads about books or writing or anything else. It’s just all about the bed all the time, and selling mattresses. Of course, they have to be outselling me.

What you do with your bed once it is completed is entirely up to you. (I’ve heard that some people like sex.) I like to utilize mine for overnight guests. They think it’s hysterical to be sleeping on top of my book box bed. We really yuk it up. Then, when I say goodnight, I like to say, “Sweet dreams. Remember, you are sleeping on top of my broken ones.”

That’s it. In eleven incredibly over-simplified steps you have crafted your very own book box bed. The most difficult part of the process is the writing of the novel, though raising capital comes in a close second. I find student loans or large credit lines are fine places to find money for destined-to-fail creative projects. Why not be in debt along with being poor? It’s the American way!