October 27th, 2007 at 5:00 pm (how to make a bed)
Buy a mattress, some bedding, and other bed-like features. Without these things, you really just have a platform. I’m not knocking that though. Grab a karaoke machine or strap on your guitar and go to town pretending that you are with the Stones.
Not that I’ve ever done that.
October 26th, 2007 at 5:00 pm (how to make a bed)
Shittiest back of a human under the age of 60, in case you were wondering. I know! I didn’t realize that ’shittiest’ was a Guinness adjective either. I suddenly feel incredibly qualified for several world records.
October 25th, 2007 at 5:00 pm (how to make a bed)
Craft your bed.
Move all of the book boxes from the five closets they are taking over and into book box bed formation. Remember, they are heavy, so it helps to have another person involved. I’m still convinced that moving these books over and over is the reason I developed an ’s’ shaped spine that amazed my chiropractor and earned me a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records.
October 24th, 2007 at 5:00 pm (how to make a bed)
Using your horrible selling ability and the closet space that the books take up, stoke your frustration. It helps to go into a closet every day to look for something, and be unable to maneuver around the book boxes in the way. When you are thoroughly annoyed, it will encourage you to find another place for the books. This is where great ideas are born.
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:00 pm (how to make a bed)
To be truly effective with this step, you must pretend that you were unaware of this extreme lack of selling ability before you had the books printed. The more people you can fool with you maniacal ravings about your overstock, the better. If people know you willingly spent thousands on books with a minimal chance of ever making profit, they will think that you are insane, and you can’t enjoy your book box bed from the asylum.
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