Dismantle My Bed

So, you have sold books on eBay. You have sold books to all of your family and friends. You even actually sold a few to some bookstores and libraries. But what do you do with what’s left of them?

Well, you could have a bonfire. Or you could do what I am going to do. Send them out to every agent you can get an address for. And maybe, just maybe, something good will come of it. If not? Well, at least you got rid of some more books!

When you have a lot of books that did not sell, well you have a lot of books. That means you have to find something to do with them.

And guess what?

Leftover books make great coasters! Especially on a carpeted floor. They are sturdy enough to make sure your drink does not tip over onto the carpet.

So, if you have leftover books and are at a loss… Make them coasters for your drinks!

1. Write a book. Write from the heart. Don’t follow popular formulas. Use uncommon words that might necessitate context clues, maybe even a dictionary, something that you know a “real” publisher would never touch because it’s not dumbed down.
2. Self-publish. You can be dead in the water before you’ve even hopped out of the boat, and plenty in debt to boot!
3. Be a poor salesperson. You are an author. This should come naturally.
4. Invent genius schemes to try to get people to buy your book… that also don’t work.
5. Sleep on the boxes. You have to store them somewhere, and you probably can’t afford a whole lot of space

Well, it’s official. Used bookstores are the way to get rid of the leftover books that we have.

See, here is what happened. We had some used books to sell at a used bookstore. We put one of my books in with them. Then it happened. The used bookstore bought the book for a buck.

Sure, that is still a loss. But is it more than just tossing them. Now we just need 3,000 used bookstores to unload them at.

Since my trip to New York over the weekend, I’ve been considering this question quite a bit. Since I went there for the purpose of seeing two plays and a film that was having a New York only showing, I was exposed to a lot of writing over the two days I spent there.

The film I saw, Backseat, got into the SXSW fest. It was quirky and raw. I did enjoy it, it’s true. It had its slow moments, but it also had some great moments.

Of the two plays that I saw, one was new. Something You Did, written by Willy Holtzman, was chock full of popular political talk of today. Translation: It will never become classic. How can something ever become classic if it is filled with references that no one will understand in ten years time?

The other was roughly twenty years old. Crimes of the Heart is a Pulitzer Prize winning play, written by Beth Henley and completed in 1978. Thirty years later, it is still mostly relevant. The only dated references refer to Johnny Carson and Hurricane Camille, but they didn’t detract at all.

But here is what I really realized. The best writing, when it comes to plays, and will hold true with screenplays and any other type of script, is the writing that brings out the most amazing performances in the people on the stage.