Dismantle My Bed

I refuse to be held accountable for any deaths that may be blamed on this posting. Yes, I can suggest murder, but it’s a very personal decision to actually commit one. Should someone make that decision, they are on their own. Unless they have an accomplice, and then they are in it with an accomplice. I wouldn’t recommend that though. Working with a partner is always just an invitation to have someone go all tattletale on you and try to get a plea bargain later. Watch a marathon of Law & Orders, CSIs, and Bones, and study up. If you are going to do murder, for goodness sake, do it right.

Off your cubicle neighbor.

Listen, I’m not promoting murder here. I am very anti-violence. I also am well aware that a boss may force your hand on this issue. I mean, Christian or not, you probably don’t want to break a commandment… just in case, but what if the only thing that stands between you and full-time writing bliss is a nosy person whose only contribution to the world is foulness? Wouldn’t you be doing the world a favor? At the very least, you will be doing yourself a favor.

Right or wrong… Or is it write or wrong?

Exactly.

It happens. No matter how well you sneak, you are bound to get the occasional spanking. I knew as soon as I was transferred to a cubicle with a neighbor that didn’t want to sleep with me, I would get caught.

Ding ding ding. It took less than a week.

That’s okay though. If this cubicle neighbor did allude to wanting to sleep with me, I wouldn’t just throw up a little in my mouth. I would projectile vomit all over the office. While I was at it, I would take special aim for some people.

The point is thus.

When you reach the place where you cannot sneak in writing at work, is it time to quit?

A day off is a day of writing.

Not yours. Your cubicle neighbor or office mate’s.

Now, I don’t know where you work, or what the floor plan looks like. There are some offices that are totally open, no cubicle walls, just desks and a communal suffering. If you work in one of these places, it sucks to be you.

For many of us though, there is some measure of privacy. We simply share an office or have a cubicle, where only one or two people can see what we are doing. If you work in this situation, there may be no better day than the day that your office mate/cubicle neighbor takes off. They leave you in complete privacy, you can write all day long, and the best part? You get paid for it!

Sadly, days off are severely limited, at least in the United States, so you won’t get too many of these free days, but when you do, use them well.

So, I have been moved into a new habitat at my crappy job. I got caught up in a common, meaningless conversation, and as a result, I was punished in this way. As someone who detests the very type of conversation that I was engaging in, I freely accept this punishment.

This relocation does, however, put a temporary cramp on my sneaking style. I had really come to understand the behavior of my former cubicle neighbor, but now my cubicle neighbor has changed, and the learning process must begin again.

Will the sneaking be as easy now? I was fairly open with it before.

I guess time shall tell.