Dismantle My Bed

I keep having this recurring dream. I am on the mainland, but I have romantic notions about an island that I can see off in the distance. It’s so far off, it is barely a speck, and I want to be there, but I know that the ocean is rough and there is just as much chance that I will miss the mass entirely as make land fall. But I can’t help it. The island is so tempting, and the mainland isn’t satisfying me.

So, I hop aboard a small boat and paddle myself in the direction of geographic ecstasy. I think that I might make it. I have the determination, the knack for rowing. But no! A huge wave comes and washes me overboard. I am out at sea, floating, and that’s when I realize…

It’s books I’m floating in. Not water. Books. Books upon books upon books. The good news is I can’t drown. But the paper cuts are a bitch!

This is an entirely fictional dream made up for the sole purpose of making you feel enough pity to buy.

Thank you.

I sold a book! Hooray!

Someone must like my fan fic enough to want to read that which is (somewhat) original. Yay!

I’m making money writing. Outstanding!

I am once again inspired to write the sequel. Fabulous!

One book down. Too cool.

Nearly two thousand to go. Aweso…

Hey, wait a minute.

And let that resolution be to buy my book.

Seriously. Help out a starving writer for the new year. Okay, so maybe I am not exactly starving. But that is only because I have a real job. But if I was trying to live off of the money from my writing I would indeed be starving.

Instead, I am an office worker poser by day. And a writer by, er, the rest of the time. Actually, I write at work too…

But I’m not supposed to be doing that…

To stuff a stocking… ah, it should be inexpensive. After all, it’s just a stocking. It’s meant only for trinkets and candy and inexpensive fun stuff that would get lost beneath the tree. Of course, these days people put $100 gift cards and diamond necklaces in them. These are the people I would like to call mildly psychotic.

Even with little things though, stuffing a large stocking can get rather expensive. Let me help! I live to help. You… YOU, I wanna help.

Got a reader on your list, someone who likes fantasy novels, fairy tales, and kick-ass chics? Why not buy a book for the low, low price of $4.99? Not only will Bleeding Through Kingdoms: Cinderella’s Rebellion offer boundless pleasure for an extended period of time, it will also take up a whole lot of stocking space. At 6×9 inches, you’d be hard-pressed to even slip in a pack of gum with it.

So it’s a no go on the book buying, huh? Fifteen wasn’t just too steep. Ten was too steep too. Hey, it’s cool. I know all about being broke. So, here’s what I’d like to do for you (and for me because I need to get these books the hell out of here). Before I go remaindering them, why don’t I offer them to you for the low, low price of $4.99. I’ll even pick up the shipping. This is not a trick. It is however a limited time offer. The books will only be available at this price until I torch them.