Dismantle My Bed

Everyone wants a piece of Sarah Palin. And she wasn’t even on the winning ticket! In the past week or so, she was offered $2 million for an exclusive in an adult film. Then it was rumored that she was offered a part on Desperate Housewives. And today the word is book deal. Apparently she is getting a $7 million dollar book deal.

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Hard to believe my book has been in self-published limbo hell for over three years now, but that’s the way it is. On a positive note though, I am still making the occasional sale to the occasional new person who comes across me. Here is what I’ve learned from this. For the roughly hundred or so hours of soul-wrenching, absolutely free writing you put out into the world, you will make approximately one book sale. Some of these sales will make you a decent amount of money. $12 or so, yay! Some will make you about $1. Suck.

So, my advice for selling your books today. Write for free and hope someone takes pity on you.

That is all.

I travel a lot. I have driven all over the United States, back and forth across it several times, through almost all of the country’s major metropolises, and I can say with absolute certainty, the city most in need of avoidance is Cleveland, Ohio. Now, I grew up in Ohio. Cleveland was only a day-trip away. I spent much of my youth going within the vicinity of Cleveland, yearly trips to Cedar Point in Sandusky for instance, and occasionally we’d head on into the city for a Browns or Indians game.

In youth, it was difficult to see what an unfortunate city to spend a day in Cleveland really is. The drivers are some of the worst in the nation, the service people really don’t earn the title, and the public transportation is like a big, expensive joke.

After living in New York City and Los Angeles, and spending a fair amount of time in Chicago, I can also still say that Cleveland is the only city where I have been asked for money every single time I have stepped out of my car downtown.

Occasionally, they do get a decent concert tour. This is the only reason to go to Cleveland. Don’t let anybody tell you any different. And if that tour has another stop within driving distance, I’d suggest going to the other place instead. So, don’t go there.

Despite Drew Carey’s assertion, Cleveland does not rock.

That’s right. Read it in high school. Didn’t love it.

Tried to read it again recently. Still didn’t love it.

In fact, not only do I not love this novel. In high school, I never got through it. I copied a friend’s homework when we had to fill out the reading sheets about the book.

This time around, I made it a lot further, but at roughly page 100 I started skimming.

I simply don’t find the old man’s battle with the sea and the great fish all that interesting.

Want to.

Don’t.